yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
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