You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize