so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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