The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize