I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize