PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
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my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize