My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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