She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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