I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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