There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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