Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize