Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize