I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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