Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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