Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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