I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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