my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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