Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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