Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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