It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
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Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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