Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
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please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
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You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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