i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize