and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
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At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
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Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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