Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize