HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I forget how to act sober
Randomize