shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize