Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
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Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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