The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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