I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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