I wannas sexs uuuuu
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
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There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
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Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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