Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize