just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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