LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize