If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize