Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
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Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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