well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
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i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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