she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
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ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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