let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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