I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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