apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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