Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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