bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
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I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
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you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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