You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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