I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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