Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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