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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize