I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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