Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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