$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize