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Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
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